Full Episode Transcript 

Hi there, welcome. Today we are going to talk about goal setting. So this is a really hot topic right now, because it happens to be January, it's January 8th, right now. And as you know, this time of year, everybody starts talking about New Year's resolutions, and setting goals and dream boards and things like that. And I'm, I'm a huge fan of vision boards, especially if you're the type of person that needs to see a picture, or pictures of what it is you're working toward. I know that that's very helpful for me, I'm a very visual person. 

So you know, I'm a huge fan of setting goals and having dreams and having a vision board. But I'll tell you, I'll tell you what happened. So this morning, I received an email from a coach that I follow, and I have followed this person for many years. Gosh, almost seven years now, I've been on this person's email list, and I have worked with them in a paid capacity. Many times before, but not, I haven't worked with them in the last four years or so. But for a long time, they were my coach. And I still read the emails. And this morning, an email came in that said, "Happy New Year. I hope that all your goals and dreams come to fruition in 2023." And I read that, and I thought to myself, well, but then, then what, right? Personally, I hope all my goals and dreams don't come to fruition and 2023, I would hope that it's it's just ongoing, forever.

I mean, what is the actual end date here, I know that there are certain things that you want to achieve, everybody has those things that they want, you know, I want to buy my dream car, I want to make seven figures, I want to, you know, build my dream house. I want you know, to take a month long trip to, Lake Como, whatever it is, right, we all have these things that we actually do want to achieve. But they're not all going to come true in 2023, I'm not trying to burst your bubble, I'm trying to show to you that this is a journey, you are on the journey of your life. Some things are going to happen in 2023, some amazing, magical things are going to happen this year. And some things are gonna happen in 2024, and 25, and 26 and 36 and 46. And it's going to be ongoing for the rest of your life. And that's the really brilliant thing about life.

So if you look at everything that you wrote down, or everything that's on your vision board, and you're like, I hope this is the year that all of this comes true. I mean, yeah, that can happen. But by the time it does, you will have new goals that you will be setting your sights on at that point. Because it's an ongoing process forever. And so you're you're not just you're not just done. And I guess the point I'm trying to make here is your goals need to be this, like story arc over your entire life. Kind of like I visualize it kind of like a rainbow. Like there's this beautiful rainbow that started on the first day I was born. And it will end, I guess, on the last day of this human experience that I'm having here on earth this time around. And if I look at my life, this rainbow spans my life, and I can't see the end of the rainbow yet I can see that I have a rainbow above me. I have an arc above me. But that is my, my arc my story are kind of like when you watch a movie. There's an arc that plays out across the entire movie. It's not just like, I'm going to do this one thing. And then that's it. I'm done. I'm gonna make a million dollars by May 15 2023. And then that's it. I'm done. It's bigger than that. It's so much bigger than that.

You have goals and dreams that they're not just for this year or this month or this week. or for today, you have goals and dreams that span your lifetime. When you get to the end of your lifetime, can you look back and say, I worked towards that goal my whole life? I achieved that goal every day of my life. Maybe not every day, sometimes we have off days. But can you look back and say, I worked towards that goal for my entire life? Not just Oh, yeah, I remember that one. I achieved that on the 29th of June in, you know, 2027. Maybe, maybe that's the day you bought your dream house, or built your dream house or left on European vacation or bought your dream car? Maybe. But didn't it play into a bigger picture in your overall life? You know, I just have a really quick thing to say before I wrap this up, I don't want to make this too long. I actually have two quick things to say.

The first one is that the very first time I ever made a vision board was in 1998. I know that's a long time ago, I was in school. And I made this vision board that I hung in my room. And many years later, I found that vision board. I had put it away like in a, tucked it in a photo while it was like folded up in photo album or something like that. And I pulled it out. And I found this vision board probably, I don't know, 10-12 years after I had made it. And I had achieved everything that was on that board. And in fact, when I looked at that board, it felt so small to me, because you know, I was I was like a kid I was in school. And so my dreams back then were really small. I had a couch on that vision board. I wanted like an actual couch, I felt like I was going to be like so grown up if I had if like if I owned a couch. I had like this special bracelet that I wanted was on the list. And there were a couple other things. But like, the dreams on that board were so small compared to where I was at that point in my life. And I remember looking at it and just thinking, wow, I don't know when this happened. But I got everything that I put on this board. And it kind of surprised me to realize that it had just happened through life. I was just out there living my life. And day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. I was I was evolving, I was moving up in my life. Like, you know, I was evolving. That's the best word, right. And it just happened as natural course of that evolution. And so it wasn't like, I don't want to say I didn't have to do anything special because I did have to stay the course of evolving and making sure that you know, every day I took steps forward towards my dreams. But it wasn't like, I have to make sure that I buy a couch by the end of the year. It wasn't like that. It all just sort of happened in the way that it was meant to happen.

The other thing I want to say is that I used to have this very specific dream car that I had on my vision board. And I actually bought my dream car. And it was really exciting. I mean, I'm not gonna lie to you. It was absolutely exciting, moments like that are always thrilling. But once I got it I was on to the next thing. Like I appreciated that I had it. I loved it. It was you know, I still think about that car. And that feeling that I had the first time that I went to a dealership and was able to say, I want this car in this color with this color interior. And you know that it's exciting. It's exciting to be able to go and purchase an expensive luxury vehicle and get exactly what you want. It's really exciting. But it it didn't define me the way I thought it would. I thought for like the two or three years prior to getting that car when I was working toward being able to purchase it. I thought wow, once I have my dream car, like I will have arrived. I'm going to feel better about Myself, I'm gonna look better, like people are gonna look at me and be like, Wow, can you believe she drives that luxury SUV? Like, you know, like, I was just going to be, like the coolest person ever, right? I mean, let's, let's not fool ourselves here like, that's kind of what I thought it was like I was going to be rolling up to, you know, the salon for my hair appointment. And you know, somebody inside was going to be like, Wow, did she did you see the car that she drove up in? Like, wow, you know, she must be really something, you know that these are the things that you think about, right? And then, you know, I got the car, and it was great and all and there were a couple times over the years, when people were like, wow, you have you know, you have a nice car, you drive a nice car, oh, wow, this is you know, they get into the passenger seat. And they're like, Wow, this is really nice car, oh, heated seats. You know, I like this, this is really cool. But it didn't like actually change me in the way that I thought it would. And that was one of the most surprising things for me, like, it didn't, the car didn't make me a better person. You know, I made myself a better person. But the car didn't do that. It didn't make people like me, it didn't, you know, it, it didn't change who I was, I was still the same person. I just was having more of a luxury experience, which, you know, I'm I'm here for the luxury, I'm all about luxury. So I would never dismiss that to anybody, you know, spend all the money you want on houses, airplanes, cars, vacations, jewelry, handbags, I'm here for it all. But just know that it's not going to change who you are. All the other stuff you do the work you do. Every day, the work that you do on yourself, the things that you read the, you know, the way you're building your business, just who you are. That's what that's what changes you and defines you. And nothing else is going to do that.

And by the way, you can not have the dream car, not have the dream house, or the jewelry or the luxury items or the designer handbags, you can not have any of that stuff. And you can be an absolutely powerful, amazing person. And that was one of the biggest things that I learned. And a lot of times now, people sometimes think that I come across as flippant when it comes to money, because I have made a lot of money in my past. And I know that money isn't. It's not what it's not what you think it is. It's wonderful, don't get me wrong, I would I would rather live as a rich person than a poor person. I mean, that's just the fact of it. But it's not what you think it is. And before you've made the money, you may be inclined to think that once you've made the money, everything will be different, you'll be happier, you'll, you'll feel better people will like you, etc, you'll have a better, better relationship or a better marriage or whatever it is. But it's not the case, the money does not change any of that. So whoever it is that you want to be in this lifetime, you need to become that person, with or without money. And believe me, you can become that person. Even if you're not making the income that you want to be making yet you can become that person at any time. Because trust me, the money does not make you into that person at all. It just doesn't. And before you have money, that's a really difficult thing to wrap your brain around because we all just kind of assume that more money means better life, more opportunity, you know, better health, better relationships, etc, etc. But what it boils down to is money is just an amplifier for who you already are. So you can be right now the person that you are going to be with or without money. In fact, that's where your power lives. You get to decide that you are powerful in spite of external circumstances, because that's all money is it's an external circumstance that doesn't have any effect on who you are. So I think I got a little bit off topic, but the gist of it is it's good to set goals and it's good to have dreams, but do not tie yourself to, I'm going to achieve all of this in 2023, some of it you will, some of it you won't. It's good to have goals. It's good to have dreams, but try to make those goals and dreams larger.

Make them bigger than what you think they are, make them span years, make them span your entire lifetime. The goal here is not, no pun intended, the goal here is not to just hit your goal. All right, I hit my goal. That's it. I'm done. Good. Did that, cross it off the list? Hit the goal. Because Because what is what does that mean? It doesn't define you. It doesn't make you into who you are. That dream car does not make you a different person than you already were. It just means you're going to be more comfortable rolling on road trips. Yeah. But it does not define you or make you who you are. So, this year 2023, I would invite you to set bigger goals. Set these overarching storylines, the story arc of your life. Who do you want to be? Who are you becoming? Who are you with or without money? Who are you with or without your dream car? Your dream house? Vacations, a private jet jewelry, designer clothes and handbags and shoes? Who are you? Who are you without those things? Because that's your goal. And it's not just for 2023 It's for forever. It's the rainbow that is above your life, your timeline at all times. It's always above you. If you look up, you have a rainbow above you at all times. And that's your life. It's your power, and it's who you're meant to be. Okay, that's it for today. I'll talk to you next time. xx

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